As you have probably heard, there has been a lot of press recently about singles heading to Online Dating Sites to find “The One”. For those of us in the Dating Industry this is no surprise.
So, in this tips for dating article – let’s have a good look at this wonderful thing called “Online Dating”.
In Part No.1: we will look at Paid Dating Sites and see what facilities they have to offer you as a member.
In Part No.2 we will examine Free Dating Sites and what they can also offer to you – then, the choice is yours.
I don’t recommend any sites to you. Dating sites are a preference – just like going to a café – some cafés make you feel comfortable and safe whilst others you may not warm to. It doesn’t make the other cafés bad – just not for you. That being said - let’s go exploring!
Generally speaking, when singles are busy with making money, forging their careers, spending their hard earned cash – dating takes somewhat of a back seat – not completely.However, being single is filled with – well, working.
When things start to go differently such as the potential loss of a hard earned lifestyle it becomes a time for reflection - in all areas of life. [Enter] one of the most basic human needs – Love and Companionship.
So, where do we find this companionship and love that we seek? Well, in my opinion one of the best places to look is an Online Dating site. Half the work is already done for you – if someone is on a dating site – then they are also looking for companionship.
Certainly takes the guess work out of seeing someone across a crowed bar doesn’t it?
There are many every easy steps to take in this process, however, at the moment we are just going to look at “Paid Dating Sites vs Free Dating Sites” to give you a clearer understanding of what is available to you.
Firstly a word of WARNING:What to look for and look out for.
Before you sign up on ANYDating Site, click onto to their Terms and Conditions. You will be asked to agree to them before you are allowed to sign up. Read them. This is extremely important! Please don’t just click “I agree” and not read them—and here are some of the reasons why you should read them - there are more further down in this article.
Some sites have a pre-ticked box that says you give them permission to use your details any way they see fit. I know I don’t want my details sent out into cyber-space for everyone or any- one to use, including spammers, and especially being sent emails containing viruses. So please read the fine print.
Paid Dating Sites
Tip No. 1
Read what services the dating sites have to offer. It is truly amazing what is available now, with the advancements in technology, for your enjoyment and safety. Sites vary in what they provide their members, and these are a few of the services that some dating sites provide:
Email
This is where you can email anonymously through the dating site. The only thing that the receiver of your email will get is your profile name and a link to view it. We will cover this in Your Dating Site Profile in another - tips for dating article.
Photos
You can upload your photo into your profile. Some sites allow only a few and some allow many.
IMs
Instant Messaging is instantly being able to message another member who is online at the same time as you. It’s a great way to communicate in safety while remaining anonymous. However, some dating sites’ IMs are very slow to respond and drop out, so testing them is the only way to find out how good they are.
Video Uploading
You can upload a short video of yourself for other members to see.
Text Messages or SMS
This is where the dating site informs you via your mobile or cell phone that you have a new contact waiting for you in your email inbox.
Webcam to Webcam
You can actually see via your computer and chat in real time to another member who is online.
Speed Dating
These sites inform you of speed dating events organised by the site at pre-arranged venues. You need to register on these sites to participate in their events.
Virtual Speed Dating
Virtual speed dating is a way to meet people via your webcam and have a few minutes telling them about yourself before moving on to the next person, and so on.
Virtual or Avatar Dating
Some sites provide you with a two- or three-dimensional character that you can make to represent you. After you have created the virtual you, you are able to go on dates with other site members in this virtual world.
Phone2phone
This means you don’t have to give out your phone number to another member, but you can actually speak with them on your phone without them seeing your telephone number.
Personality Matching
You can fill in a questionnaire that has been designed by a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist to look at your personality so they can help match you with someone who will suit you.
Sensuality Matching
This is the same principle as personality matching, except that it works out your sex drive. I think this is great because, even if you are matched in your personalities, you may not be sexually compatible—which is really important in any relationship. If you both have the same expectations, it’s much easier.
Background Checking
This service does a background check for any members on the site who have a criminal record. It can also on some sites give you a rating of the severity of the offences committed.
Send a Card
You can send to another member a card that you have chosen from the dating site’s e-card library.
Send Music
You can send to another member a favourite song from the dating site’s music library.
Singles Events
These events are organised by the dating site to be held at a particular venue at a specific time so that members can meet other members.
Singles Travel
These are organised holidays arranged via the dating site for members to go on a designated holiday package with othermembers of the site who would also like to go.
Tip No. 2
Some sites ask you to fill in the approximate amount of money you earn. Do not do this—there is no need for you to do it unless you are on a “Millionaire Dating Site” and this is part of the sites rules.Unfortunately doing thismeans it can and/or will be displayed on your profile for anyone to see. It makes you a potential target for organized crime syndicates who specialize in Romance Scams – we will cover this another time.
Tip No. 3
You will also be asked to give your date of birth when you sign up to create an account (profile) with the dating or adult site. I would avoid all sites that show any of this information on your profile. If someone wants to con you, all they have to do is contact you, and it can be very easy for them to gain your confidence over time and get your full name and address.
This is also how identity fraud occurs—someone stealing your identity and using it as their own. All they need to do this isto obtain your name and date of birth.
Tip No. 4
There are dating sites that ask you to pay up-front and become a member before you can actively participate on their sites. This is quite normal, but please read very carefully what you are signing up for.
If you are paying by credit card,andif you only want to sign up for a certain period of time, make sure that you tick the box or click the link that says you do not want it automatically renewed when your membership expires.
Tip No. 5
Make sure that the price they are promoting to you at the beginning of their site is actually what you will be paying, and that this price allows you to use their site in its entirety—or whatever level of membership it does entitle you to.
Tip No. 6
Dating sites ask you to fill in a questionnaire such as your age, gender, height, hobbies and interests. This is designed to let people know a bit about you and is there to help you.
Tip No. 7
Some dating sites have a questionnaire that they ask you to fill in, with all sorts of questions that are not related to creating your dating site profile. You may think, or be led to think, it is a personality questionnaire. This is not always a personality assessment and you don’t have to fill it in.
Tip No. 8
Read what these questions are for, and if it really is a personality assessment questionnaire, then this is a service that the dating site is providing to you for your assistance. They will explain this on their site.
I would have no hesitation in filling it in as long as they explain in detail how this assessment is done. However beware: some of these assessmentsarejust a marketing tool for the site managers and are not designed to assist you at all.
Still Unsure?
If you are unsure about a dating site, you have the right to email them through their contact details and ask questions. I would. If they don’t have a “Contact Us” section, I would be alarmed, especially if you need to pay to be a member.
So ask. If they don’t answer you, don’t use them. If you come across a dating site that you genuinely feel is fraudulent in any way, please feel free to contact me via the “contact button” on this site. I will then look into it.
Your Thoughts? Please feel free to comment – I love the feedback
Next time in tips for dating, we will explore “Free Dating Sites vs. Paid Dating Sites” Part No.2 – Free Dating Sites – so, see you next time!
Until then, stay safe and make good choices!
Smiles to you as always,
Yvonne Rice
Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the Single Lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has research 4,500+ Online Singles and over 6,000 Online Dating Sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online.
Yvonne is also a consultant to various Global Law Enforcement and Government Agencies about Online Safety and Internet Scams that are directed at the Singles Dating, Chat Room and Social Networking Industries.
I know it’s been a while since I posted - for those who follow Tips For Dating - I apologize, it’s been a very busy few months collaborating with Global Law Enforcement and Government Agencies on Romance Scams and how we can prevent them.
Due to no fault other than being human, we have all experienced a Bad Date.
Those times in our lives when, we really should have listened to those little warning bells that tinkled in our ears, (before they turned into deafening clangor’s) the little bells that tell us: maybe this is not the person for me.
However, we decide to give them the benefit of the doubt – after all, you tell yourself “Maybe I’m just being too picky, besides, it’s only one date – how bad can one date be?”…… Seems reasonable enough doesn’t it?
But what happens when this “It’s only one Date” turns into a - I would give anything right now if I could wined back the clock, change history and totally erase the parts before I uttered the words:
“Yes, I would love to go out on a date with you”? Enter, “The Bad Date” scenario.
One of the things we really need to keep in mind is that most people don’t take rejection too well – no surprises there. So, getting out of a Bad Date will need some thought so that you don’t spark anything nasty in the person you are rejecting.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all be right up front and it was socially acceptable to say to someone – “Sorry, you’re not for me – and I wish you well in your search” no-one got hurt by this and everyone moved on?.
How good would that be! But, this isn’t the case, so diplomacy is the name of the game here. You also don’t want to put yourself in a situation of more discomfort or even danger by being confrontational, do you? Okay, that being said let’s look at a few ways we can extricate ourselves from this Bad Date nightmare!
The following tips for dating are only designed for a really ”Bad Date” Diplomatic honesty in my books – is always the best policy – remember, everyone has feelings.
Tip #1. Be Honest.
If your date is boring you to your back teeth, just be polite and end it with dignity. Most people will get the “Thanks, but, no thanks” message behind a polite “I’m happy to have met you, yet I don’t see a future together for us.”
Tip #2. Spill It
“Accidentally” spill an entire cup of coffee in your lap so you have to leave to get out of your wet clothes. A word of warning here: make sure the coffee isn’t boiling hot. You don’t want Bad Date coming to the emergency room with you for moral support because you’ve sustained 3rd degree burns on you private parts.
Tip #3. Past Love or Pet
Normally in my books this is a No, No, to talk about “the last love in your life” – but talking non-stop about your last love or how much you love your pet (and not coming up for air) will pretty much guaranty your Bad Date will end it for you. No-one likes to think they are going to always come second - especially if it’s to a pet.
Tip #4. Lifeline
Have a friend text you on your cell phone 30 minutes into your date. Arrange that you will call or text back within 15 minutes of their call. This will give you time to politely excuse yourself to go to the bathroom call them back and then come back to your Bad Date with an excuse – a family emergency is always a good one.
Tip #5. On Call
If you work or volunteer in a shift work or services type of environment this is perfect – you can always say you got a call from work just before meeting them – you have been asked to “fill-in” or are needed for an important meeting at short notice – but you had time to squeeze in one quick coffee with your date.
Tip #6. Children
If you have them – they make the best excuses to leave any situation by cutting it short -anything from they are “going through a trauma” to “being ill” to whatever you wish to use. I wouldn’t use this excuse though if you don’t have them.
Tip #7. Opposites
Ask them what peeves them off the most in a relationship – listen very carefully: when they tell you, look sheepish and say “Oh, dear, I do that and my last partner hated it too!…. that’s why we never got along”. It will be easy to wrap-up a Bad Date quickly after that.
Tip #8. Form Another Interest
If you are at a bar offer to go and buy the next round of drinks. Start talking to another person at the bar – for ages. When you get back to the table look at you watch and say “Gee, is it that time already?”. I need to go – have an early start in the morning.
Tip #9. Vanish
If you are in a busy bar or nightclub, excuse yourself so that you can to go to the bathroom: then find your way out the door.
Your Thoughts?
Next time in tips for dating, we will explore “Free Dating Sites vs. Paid Dating Sites” – there is more to this than you think!
Until then, stay safe and make good choices!
Smiles to you as always,
Yvonne Rice
Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the Single Lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has research 4,500+ Online Singles and over 6,000 Online Dating Sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online.
Yvonne is also a consultant to various Global Law Enforcement and Government Agencies about Online Safety and Internet Scams that are directed at the Singles Dating, Chat Room and Social Networking Industries.
Well, this is the last Sense in our series on tips for dating - Your 4 Senses.
And this sense – the sense of touch is one of the most difficult because it is what I call the “Pressure Sense” in other words it’s the time when you can be pressured into making a decision to do something you may not feel comfortable with – but you do it anyway because you fear being rejected.
So, let’s put a little confidence back into your life with some sound advice if you find yourself in this position.
Well, if everything goes well, you will experience the sense of touch when you feel comfortable with this person and when you are ready.
This applies to both women and men. Don’t be pressured into anything you are not ready for. If someone is pressuring you, then they are not interested in you as a person but in just having sex with you, so give them the “flick”; they are not worthy of you.
Once the person who is pressuring you has achieved what they want from you, they will probably only dump you for the next person who takes their fancy and won’t give you a second thought—but you will feel hurt.
I have seen this happen time and time again. There are plenty of other single people out there (remember, there are literally millions of them) who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
It’s a big world out there, my friend, and there is no shortage of single people in it.
So, please don’t think you have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with – because this person might not like you if you don’t and you might not find anyone else out there – because you will – you will find someone who respects you and how you start out a relationship is how it will continue.
If they don’t respect you at the start – it’s only further down hill from there.
So, have a little faith – the person for you could be as close as the click of your mouse – or the very next footstep that you take!
Your Thoughts?
Next time in tips for dating we will look at “How to Escape A Bad Date!” - and I have some very creative, but diplomatic ways of doing this.
Until then, stay safe and make good choices!
Smiles to you as always,
Yvonne
Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the Single Lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has research 3,500+ Online Singles and over 6,000 Online Dating Sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online.
Yvonne is also a consultant to various Law Enforcement and Government Agencies about Online Safety and Internet Scams that are directed at the Singles Dating, Chat Room and Social Networking Industries.
Well, we are a third of the way through our series on tips for dating - Your 4 Senses.
And this sense – the sense of sound is one of the most important and the most neglected of all of the sense when it comes to dating – seriously it’s true.
One of the BIGGEST complaints I use to hear from my clients after their first date was….”It was great, until they started…..!”
So, let’s explore how to avoid the pitfalls on the Sense of Sound and give us an even greater chance of leaving our date with a good impression and wanting to see us again (and not busting to exit!).
Sense of Sound Killer #1.
Please don’t drink alcohol before or during your date – many a great date has been ruined by one person drinking too much (usually due to nerves) and turned into a blabbering or even worse blubbering mess. (We will cover this in detail in the future – with real life scenarios). If you do this, the likely chances of you seeing this date again? – Are virtually - zip, zero…nada!
Sense of Sound Killer #2.
Unless you are really clever at telling jokes and you really should be on the stage, don’t do it. There is nothing worse than telling a joke and getting a forced laugh from the person having to listen to it. You don’t want to become embarrassed because the joke fell flat.
Sense of Sound Killer #3.
Please don’t slurp your drink or speak with a mouth full of food. Tacky, tacky, tacky! You will be really embarrassed if you accidentally spit some of your food at your date because you have become excited about a topic you are discussing.
Sense of Sound Killer #4.
Conversations. I would suggest that you stick to the old saying, “The only time you can talk about sex, politics, religion and sport is to a taxi driver”. Remember, at this stage you don’t really know your date, and you don’t want to offend them or get into a heated discussion—or worse, bore them to the back teeth—because you have a strong opinion or passion for any one of these topics.
Sense of Sound Killer #5.
You may be really excited to tell your date all about you, but the art of listening and allowing someone to finish what they are telling you without interruption is a great quality to develop. After all, this is an integral part of any relationship. So if you feel yourself bursting to interrupt, bite your tongue (gently, of course).
Sense of Sound Killer #6.
Please, please don’t talk about previous relationships at this stage of getting to know each other. It can come across in all sorts of ways that you may not intend it to—bitter, emotionally unstable, needy, and the list goes on…!
Keep it light. Save all that stuff for way, way, way down the track – better still leave it where it belongs – in the past. You are in the present now and looking to the future – a fresh start.
Let this potential new person in your life see the possibilities in you – and not the fears, disappointments and unfulfilled expectations you hold of your past.
Your Thoughts?
Next time in tips for dating, we will explore The Sense of Touch, yes, I know you’ve all been waiting for that one!
Until then, stay safe and make good choices!
Smiles to you as always,
Yvonne Rice
Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the Single Lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has research 3,500+ Online Singles and over 6,000 Online Dating Sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online.
Yvonne is also a consultant to various Law Enforcement and Government Agencies about Online Safety and Internet Scams that are directed at the Singles Dating, Chat Room and Social Networking Industries.
Well, in the last tips for dating article we took at really good look at the 1st of your Senses – The Sense of Smell and just how important that can be to your date. If this is your first time here - you will find this on the right handside under Categories - enjoy!
Today we are going to explore the Sense of Sight and as a comment suggested from one of my readers David puts so well,……
“Great Blog, very helpful. I’m looking forward to reading what you write about sight as it plays such an important part in a relationship - not just during the courtship but well into the partnership. Keep up the good work!”
Thank you David! – and you are right, it is important to keep up how you look after yourself well into your relationship and we will cover this in another series of tips for dating. But for now, we want to get you to that place of being in a relationship.
Now, please remember that in these tips for dating we are going back to the basics…building that foundation again.
You have nothing to loose by doing a refresher, because sometimes we forget – and it’s the little things that give you the chance of a second date – or make the person you are meeting decide to give you the flick! – harsh, but true.
Okay, let’s explore this part of the series of tips for dating then…
The Sense Of Sight
Tip No.1
Make sure you don’t have any ear wax, and clean those teeth and your tongue if you have to.
Tip No.2
Guys, shave! Your skin looks much fresher after you have shaved, and you want your date to think you have at least gone to the trouble of looking your best. If you have excessive nose hair, get rid of it.
Tip No.3
Girls, this applies to you too. No gorilla armpits or hairy legs! If you are into the more “natural look”, fine, but cover it up until you work out if this potential new partner is into that look as well.
You might have the philosophy of “Love me, love my hairy armpits”, but are you going to potentially ruin meeting what could be the love of your life for a bit of hair? You can always discuss this later if you both find you like each other.
Tip No.4
There is an old saying: “You can tell the confidence, pride and cleanliness of a person by the state of their shoes”. This is very true! You don’t have to have the latest designer shoes, but they need to be clean and not look like they are the only pair of shoes you have ever owned in your entire adult life!
Guys, polish them, or if they are a bit scuffed and worn, take them to the shoe repairer; it’s cheaper than buying a new pair.
Girls, same thing applies to you. If your heels are a little worn down and the shoes look tired, take them in for a sprucing up. You will feel fabulous when you put them on again just before going on your date.
Tip No.5
Guys, make sure you have a clean, ironed shirt or T-shirt and pants without old stains or moth-eaten holes and rips in them.
Tip No.6
If you have put on a bit of weight and your shirt is too tight and pulling at the buttons, beg, borrow or buy a new one. Nothing looks worse than belly bulge and hair poking through the spaces in between the buttons when you are sitting down.
The same thing applies to the girls.If your clothes are too tight, you are going to be fidgeting constantly and you will feel uncomfortable and self-conscious, and then it won’t matter how much you love that outfit—you will hate it by the end of your meeting with your date. So wear clothes that actually do fit you. You will potentially be nervous enough without adding to it by wearing clothes that don’t fit or are fashionable but killing you!
Tip No. 7
Girls, I know some of you feel great when you wear low-cut tops with cleavage showing. But if you want your date to see your face (the one you have gone to all the trouble making up), then I suggest you wear something that will make him want to look at your face and not be distracted by your cleavage.
Some men get the wrong signals and think, because you have dressed like this, you are looking to become more intimate. I’m not suggesting you dress like Old Mother Hubbard by any stretch of the imagination, but he can’t read your mind and has never met you before.
So this is something to really think about. There is plenty of time later if you continue to see each other to wear these types of clothes.
Tip No.8
Remember your mother always told you to walk with your back straight? She was right. A straight back is a sign of confidence, plus it makes you look slimmer. Male or female, this applies to both.
Tip No.9
Sit straight when you are at the table. You don’t want to be so slouched over that you look like your head is ready to land on the table for a quick nap; and if you are carrying a little bit of extra weight, your stomach won’t hang out as much.
Tip No.10
If you wear jewellery, less is much more attractive than displaying your entire collection and sounding like a percussionist every time you move your hands because all the bangles you are wearing are jangling together!
Dazzle them with your smile, not your adornments. This goes for you too, guys; some women don’t like men who wear bling.
If you have expensive jewellery, don’t wear it! Leave it at home. Remember, you don’t know this person—not yet—no matter how much you think you do, and you don’t want to set yourself up as a target to be ripped off or burgled.
Okay, your turn now…Your thoughts?
As I have stated before these are the basics for us to build on – some you will do automatically and some you may have forgotten – it’s just a little reminder at how important the first impression is and giving yourself a chance at being in the drivers seat to decide for yourself if you want to see this person again and not have them decide for you.
Okay, we are half way through this series of Tips For Dating – next time – let’s explore the Sense of Sound – think you know what’s coming – bet you don’t!.
Until then, stay safe and make good choices!
Smiles to you
Yvonne Rice
Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the Single Lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has researched 3,500+ Online Singles and over 6,000 Online Dating Sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online.
Yvonne is also a consultant to various Law Enforcement and Government Agencies about Online Safety and Internet Scams that are directed at the Singles Dating, Chat Room and Social Networking Industries.
